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When haunts return

Can you hear the voices screaming from inside

deep within my mind

am I crazy

have I lost it

those thoughts come after the yelling has quit

I wonder if my sanity has gone

please do not regress

don’t go backwards

am I falling faster

I don’t want to go back to those dark places

will my mind finally break

my heart wants to run away

my soul is still shattered

can I live being maimed

what…

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A Treasure Only Found in Darkness

A Treasure Only Found in Darkness

I didn’t find it while the light shined brightly above

I could not see during the lightest time of day

Even when I looked with every candle I had saved

It was when the darkness came that I saw its gleam

The worth, its truest value can not be measured in the morning

No light shown upon could have known its truth

I had to discover this treasure through immensely painful shadows

And no one else…

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Did Not Know

Did you know that I did not know

Would you believe the words I say

Could you understand the place I was

In the darkness

In the pain

Surrounded by shame

Would it matter to you

My truth

The truth

Can you stand to look past the lies

Search the path not shown

Will you see beyond delusion

The sadness behind those eyes

Hidden by smiles

Shared with no one

Fear can be all consuming

That…

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Re - Built

Re – Built

Without one word I walked away
I knew it had to be done
For it was
Finished
Complete
To continue
There was no need

What was broken
can it be fixed
What was shattered
can it be made new
What was taken
can it be returned

Questions unanswered
Reformed
Renewed
Transformed
By what had transpired
All to be remade
As to what am I
Or
I suppose who
do I know
do you

Can we be recreated
After the tragedy
To…

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To know in not knowing

To know in not knowing

I sit and ponder
As of yet I even wonder

How do I push forward
How do I move on
Can I keep going

What does it mean to live
To thrive above it all

Alone I cannot do it

I know

I still feel so lost
Alone

Even the tragedy has changed
Even if I have grown
To be a different person
In this same shell

This difference
It is strange

I can only lean on my strength
The one standing for me

A fallen spirit

A…

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After it All

In the blood
In the aftermath
In the sorrow

Off all that has happened

What is more then me
What has been

What will I be

All the darkness
I sifted through

Does this pain have

purpose

Did it make me

Stronger

Or am I still weak

After it all

All the bloodshed

Broken souls

Has me essence grown

Rise above

Or fall below

After that massacre

Has there been an after

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What is the truth

What is the truth

What is the point, why keep wandering

I look forward in fear

Is there anything for me in the future

Do I have a future

What is my purpose, my reason for living

I love back into the past

A broken place filled with fear

What have the shadows created

Things burned, twisted and molded

But is that all I am

Or is this there truly something much more

More to be lived out, to be

Can a really rise up and…

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When Darkness Once Was

When Darkness Once Was

Did you feel the darkness?
Did you hear it calling?
Did you know it deeply?

Cruel and lonely
drifting
Like a fog with purpose
moving ever closer
trying to consume

Yes, I was there
I did feel
I did hear
I did know

The shadows
so consuming
Devouring my soul
and I did let them eat
such a sad feast
Broken and Brittle

This was me
This was my everything
My all

Each long, despairing night
Each darker…

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